Okay, made myself smile with the rhyming title.  But seriously when there is a dramatic painful pause in your life such as an affair, the affair defines you and clings to your spirit like a wet dog smell!  I have days when I smell dirty feet, wet dog and well …………..dirty lies.

Before D Day I was a happy blogger, writing it up on another site, about family, and general life stuff.  I could tell a feel good story that most were happy to read.  I was also crapping rainbows and spitting gold coins at times, but in general was not a gloomy blogger.  Sigh………….

Two years later, this blog, is ALWAYS somewhat gloomy.  It has morphed from a tear wrenching diatribe however, to a peaceful, yet heart lurching journey of lessons.  Thats not all terrible, but my readers know very little about me, authoress, mother, scorned woman.

Most of the details of the affair are here, forever in cyber print.  My deepest pains are here, and I only briefly touched on my deepest joys.  I am living proof that you can be a scarred woman and still breathe in lifes wonderful moments.

So here is a bit about myself.  I have a wonderful 18 month old Grandaughter, and another grandbaby due in July!

I have 4 children, 3 girls and one boy.  I have raised these kids at times by the skin of the financial tooth yet they are all remarkably productive humans.  My children are my defining moment.  The oldest is married, manages a well known and loved “lotion” store, and is almost finished with her dental hygienist degree.  I should also mention that she is the Mom of the granddaughter and the one on the way.  I do not know how she does it all.  She is a  stellar woman.  She will be 26 in June.

My next daughter is in her third year of pre-med and has maintained a Deans List status throughout.  She has lived at home, and attended a local community college because she was a terrible student.  This has turned around for her, and she was just accepted to Drexel, Temple and Philadelphia University for their pre med programs.  I am so proud that she has grown into a remarkable student and young woman.  She was in the middle of the fallout of her Dad’s affair, stayed on Deans List, worked a 30 hour week, and became my champion.  I was weak, she was strong.  This girl is my rock.  Currently she is looking into the ROTC program as well as direct entrance to the Armed Forces.  She would like to become a Dr of psychology specializing in combat mental health.   Wow!  I am beyond words to describe my pride.  She will be 21 in July.

My 3rd daughter just turned 17 in January.  She has been an honor student since I can remember.  She is on Student Council, marching Band, Mock Trial and Soccer!  Yeahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!  This is my only child who is self driven to succeed, and the only child who has known her career path from an early age.  She is currently applying to colleges to major in Zoology……..she wants to be a big cat vet.  From the time this child was one this has been her ambition.  This young lady is all that a parent could ask for.  She also has an in-operable brain tumor, which is benign.  This has affected her speech, gait and coordination, yet she shines.  I am humbled by her grit, determination and grasp of the work it takes to succeed in life.

Then, there is my angel boyo.  Light of my life.  I believe God sent this child to me as a means of redemption.  My son just turned 16 a few days ago.  He was born with Downs Syndrome, and later was diagnosed with autism.  My sweet little man is a very delayed Downs kid, but the value he has placed in our family’s life is immeasurable.  We love him beyond words.

I also love to cook, play poker, garden, and bead weave.  I love history, particularly Civil and Revolutionary war history.  When I pass into Heaven I hope I am remembered most as being a generous spirit, and a stellar mother.

Originally, I was going to regale you all with a humorous story.  Instead I hope I have introduced you to the woman behind the affair.  A real person, strong ,flawed and breathing despite life without instructions!

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